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You may feel confused or unsure, which is entirely normal for survivors and those wishing to offer support. Understanding sexual consent means recognising that you choose to engage in sexual activity freely, without feeling forced or frightened. Gaining a clear understanding of sexual consent can prevent harm, empower survivors, and aid in the healing process. Many individuals require support, as the World Health Organization reports that millions face sexual violence worldwide.

Help is available. You can speak about your experience and access resources to begin your journey towards healing.

Key Takeaways

• Sexual consent means saying yes to sexual activity without being scared or forced. You can change your mind at any time.

• Look for signs when consent is not given. These can be someone saying no or showing they are uncomfortable. Always respect these signs.

• You can get help from services like helplines, counselling, and legal help. You can also get help from friends and family you trust.

• Things like fear, shame, or not knowing what to do can stop people from getting help. But you should always get care that is safe, respectful, and understands trauma.

• When helping survivors, listen and do not judge. Believe them and respect what they want. Help them find the right support.

Understanding Sexual Consent

What Consent Means

Understanding sexual consent is not just about saying "yes" or "no." It means you agree to take part in sexual activity because you want to. You should not feel scared, pushed, or forced. You must feel safe and able to change your mind. Legal experts say you must agree with a clear mind. If you are drunk, asleep, or too young, you cannot give real consent. You can also take back your agreement at any time. Others must respect your choice straight away.

Tip: You can show your agreement with words or actions. If you feel unsure or not safe, you can stop at any time.

Different countries have their own laws about understanding sexual consent. Here is a table that shows how some places explain it:

Understanding sexual consent is shaped by culture and society. In some places, people see consent differently in marriage or long-term relationships. These views can change how people see sexual violence and abuse. Your feelings and choices matter, no matter what others think.

Common Myths

There are many myths about understanding sexual consent. These myths make it harder to stop sexual violence and abuse. You might hear things that are not true, such as:

• Some people think when someone says "no," they really mean "yes." This is called the myth of token resistance.

• Others believe women should always be passive, and men should always be aggressive. These ideas make it hard to see real consent.

• Some say you must fight back or shout to show you do not agree. This ignores quiet or scared ways of saying "no."

• You may hear that starting sexual activity means you agree to everything. This is not true. You can change your mind at any time.

• Some think that once you agree, you cannot take it back. But understanding sexual consent means you can stop whenever you want.

• People sometimes believe that being in a relationship means you always agree to sex. This is false. Most sexual violence and abuse happens between people who know each other.

• These myths come from old ideas about gender and sex. They make it harder to see when violence against women or abuse happens.

Note: Believing these myths can cause more violence against women. It can also make it harder for survivors to get help.

Power Imbalances

Power imbalances are important in understanding sexual consent. When one person has more power, it can be hard for the other to say "no." You might see this with teachers and students, bosses and workers, or doctors and patients. The law looks closely at these cases because real consent may not be possible.

• Power can come from age, money, job, or social status.

• If you are scared of losing your job, being punished, or facing violence, you may not feel free to say "no."

• Sexual violence and abuse often happen when one person uses their power to control or scare another.

• Social rules about gender, age, and race can make these problems worse. For example, some cultures expect women to obey men, which can lead to more violence against women.

• Understanding sexual consent means looking at who has power and how it affects your choices.

Alert: If you feel you cannot say "no" because of fear or pressure, this is not true consent. You deserve respect and safety in every relationship.

Understanding sexual consent helps you notice when abuse or violence against women is happening. It gives you ways to protect yourself and others from sexual violence. You can help change harmful ideas and support survivors by learning the facts and challenging myths.

Recognising When Consent Is Absent

Signs to Look For

You can tell when consent is not there by watching words and actions. Victims and survivors often show clear signs when they do not agree. You might see feelings like worry, shame, fear, or embarrassment. Some victims worry about how their partner will react if they say no. It can be hard for some to say "no," especially if they are scared. Non-verbal refusals are common and do not need fancy words.

Here are some signs that show consent is missing:

Victims and survivors of child sexual abuse may show these signs too. You should always respect these signals. If you see any of these signs, stop and check with the person. Victims and survivors deserve to feel safe and respected.

Note: Worrying about upsetting others can make it hard to speak up. You should never ignore these signs.

Impact on Victims and Survivors

Victims and survivors of sexual violence and abuse face many problems. The effects can last a short time or many years. At first, victims may feel shock, fear, anger, or shame. Some have trouble sleeping, eating, or feel very stressed. Later, they might get post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, or anxiety. Victims and survivors may find it hard to trust or have relationships. Many survivors of child sexual abuse get health problems like pain or weak immune systems.

Victims and survivors often have injuries, infections, or pain that does not go away. Some get stomach aches or feel sick. Child sexual abuse can cause painful periods, infections, or pain in the lower stomach. Victims and survivors may also have trouble moving or doing things.

You should remember that victims and survivors need care and support. Many feel alone, but help is out there. If you or someone you know has been hurt, you can ask for help.

Support for Victims and Survivors

Formal Support Services

There are many formal support services for victims and survivors. These services help you feel safe and start to heal. They also help you get justice. Rape Crisis centres and 24/7 helplines give free, private support. You can call them any time, day or night. Trained staff listen and give emotional support. They help you understand your choices. You might get advocacy, referrals, or someone to go with you to the police or hospital. Medical care and counselling are important for recovery. You can have a medical exam and collect evidence up to 96 hours after an assault. Advocates help you with legal and medical steps. They make sure you feel safe and respected.

Some countries offer more legal and social services. In Ghana, the Domestic Violence Act lets you report to police, get protection orders, and use a Victims of Domestic Violence Support Fund. Police can help you get medical care and support you at the hospital. The Department of Social Welfare gives counselling and assessments. Some groups, like the International Federation for Women Lawyers, give free legal help, advocacy, and shelter. You can also get mediation and counselling from the Commission on Human Rights and Administrative Justice.

Here are some formal support services you might use:

• Rape Crisis centres and 24/7 helplines

• Police help and legal protection

• Medical care and forensic exams

• Counselling and mental health support

• Temporary shelters and safe places to stay

• Free legal help and survivor advocacy groups

• Mediation and reconciliation services

You may face problems like costs, not enough shelters, or not knowing about services. Some victims and survivors wait to report or choose informal support. Even with these problems, formal support services are very important for healing. You deserve support that respects your needs and choices.

Tip: If you do not know where to start, call a helpline or visit a Rape Crisis centre. Staff will help you find the right support for you.

Informal Support

You might ask friends, family, or people in your community for help after sexual violence or abuse. Informal support is important for your healing and recovery. People you trust can give emotional support, practical help, and make you feel safe. It may be easier to talk to someone you know before using formal support services. Informal supporters often notice signs of abuse and hear about it before professionals do. They can help you feel less alone and more understood.

Informal support networks help protect you. If you have strong support, you are less likely to face more violence or abuse. Women with strong support have a 20% risk of re-abuse. Those with weak support have a 60% risk. You may have better health, feel better, and do better at work or school with good support. Friends and family can help you find resources, share information, and encourage you to get formal help if needed.

• Informal supporters can give:

  • Emotional support and encouragement

  • Information about resources and choices

  • Practical help, like transport or childcare

  • Advocacy in the community

But informal support has limits. Sometimes, people may not believe you or may blame you. This can hurt your healing. Supporters may feel stressed or unable to help. Problems like substance use, mental health issues, or lack of time can make it hard for them to help. You deserve support that is kind, fair, and focused on you.

Note: If you do not feel supported, you can ask others for help or contact formal support services. Your safety and well-being are most important.

Trauma-Informed Care

Trauma-informed care puts your safety, dignity, and power first. This way of helping understands that victims and survivors have special needs. Trauma-informed care follows five main ideas:

1. Safety: You feel safe in your body and mind.

2. Trustworthiness: Staff are honest and keep their word.

3. Choice: You control your own decisions.

4. Collaboration: You work together with support workers.

5. Empowerment: You use your strengths and skills.

Trauma-informed care respects differences and does not blame or hurt you again. Services focus on hope, healing, and recovery. You are seen as a unique person who has survived hard times. Support workers share power with you and help you learn new skills. This way of helping leads to better results, like fewer symptoms, better daily life, and less need for hospital care. Trauma-informed care does not cost more than other services, but it helps staff feel better and helps you feel more confident.

You benefit from trauma-informed care because it helps your body and mind. This way lowers the chance of being hurt again and helps you feel respected and in control. You may find it easier to trust support workers and tell your story. Trauma-informed care helps you manage feelings, feel less shame, and become stronger. You are more likely to keep using support services and heal in a positive way.

Alert: You have the right to trauma-informed, culturally safe, and victim and survivor-centred support. If you do not feel safe or respected, you can ask for a different worker or service.

You can use many resources, like survivor advocacy groups, counselling, and legal support. Whether you choose formal or informal support, you deserve care that puts your needs first. With the right help and resources, healing and recovery are possible.

Accessing Help

Finding the Right Service

You might not know where to go for help. Many victims and survivors find it hard to get support. Some places think violence is normal, so people stay quiet. Others worry about shame, losing jobs, or being left out by family. Some victims and survivors need money or a home from the person who hurt them. Some do not trust police or support workers. You might not know what help is there or how to get it. If you live far away, travel costs and no childcare can stop you. Victims and survivors with disabilities or who are LGBTQI+ have extra problems.

You can look for local rape crisis centres, helplines, or trusted groups. Some places give money for travel or costs, so it is easier to get help.

What to Expect

When you ask for help, you might feel scared or unsure. Most victims and survivors want a safe and caring place. You should get:

• A private and friendly space.

• Staff who listen, believe you, and do not judge.

• Someone to guide you through the process.

• Clear facts about your choices and next steps.

• Support that helps you feel strong and in control.

• Help with finding real-life solutions.

Victims and survivors often reach out when they feel very upset. You might not know what to say at first. Staff will help you feel safe and give you time to talk. You can ask for counselling or other help. Many victims and survivors feel better after a good first meeting and want to keep going with recovery.

Tip: You can get professional help at any time. Support is there even if you wait before asking.

Rights of the Survivor

Victims and survivors have rights when they ask for help or report abuse. You have the right to be believed and treated kindly. No one should blame you for what happened. You can ask for support and get facts about your choices. You may want to bring someone you trust to talk to police or doctors. You have the right to privacy and to keep your story safe.

Victims and survivors can ask for trauma-informed and survivor-centred support. You can choose what help you want and change your mind any time. Support workers should help you know your rights and choices.

Supporting Survivors

Responding to Disclosures

When victims and survivors tell you what happened, your reaction is important. You can use the RESPOND model to help you know what to do:

1. Notice when someone is sharing. Look for hints in what they say or do.

2. Show you care. Say things like, “It’s not your fault.” Let them know you believe them.

3. Make sure they are safe. Ask if they feel safe. Get help if they need it.

4. Give them choices. Ask what they want. Let them decide how you can help.

5. Share options. Tell them about places that can help. Offer to go with them if they want.

6. Plan what happens next. Talk about how you can help later and check on them again.

7. Remember yourself. Helping can be hard. Take care of your own feelings too.

You help by using their words, keeping things private, and not blaming them. Schools and jobs should make safe places for people to talk. Training helps you feel ready to support someone.

What to Say and Avoid

What you say can help or hurt victims and survivors. Here are good things to say:

• “I believe you.”

• “You are not to blame.”

• “Thank you for telling me.”

• “I respect your privacy.”

Do not say:

• “Why didn’t you leave?”

• “Are you sure it happened?”

• “It could have been worse.”

• Jokes or comments that make fun of abuse.

Always use words that are kind and fair. Do not use words that blame or shame. Speak up against bad jokes and support those who help victims and survivors.

Respecting Choices

Victims and survivors need to be in charge of their healing. You can help by:

1. Listening without judging.

2. Respecting what they want to share.

3. Suggesting help, but letting them choose.

4. Being patient. Healing takes time and is different for everyone.

5. Offering help, like a lift or looking after children.

Let them choose about doctors, police, or counselling. Walk with them, not in front. Your support helps them trust again and feel stronger as they heal.

Special Considerations

Children and Young People

You have special challenges when learning about consent and safety. Many children and young people do not know what consent really means. Understanding consent is more than just saying "yes" or "no". It can be hard to notice body language or words that show agreement or refusal. You need to learn how to ask questions and check if someone feels okay. These skills are important, but you might not learn them early. Consent can change at any time. You should know you can say "no" even after saying "yes".

• You might feel confused because consent is not simple.

• It is hard to notice when someone uses tricks or pressure.

• Myths about flirting or clothes can make you blame yourself for abuse.

• Gender stereotypes can make it hard to talk about your wishes.

• Online spaces bring new dangers, like sharing images or messages without consent.

Your understanding of consent changes as you grow up. When you are young, you learn about body boundaries. At school age, you practise good friendships and respect. As a teenager, you face romantic and sexual relationships. You need help to talk about child sexual abuse, sexual violence, and domestic violence in ways that fit your age.

Tip: Learning about consent helps you build trust, respect, and safety in all relationships.

Diverse Communities

Your background affects how you experience sexual violence, abuse, and domestic violence. Cultural beliefs and traditions can make it hard to talk about child sexual abuse or get help. Some communities see abuse as normal or feel shame if someone speaks out. You may worry about family honour or fear being left out. Language barriers can stop you from knowing your rights or finding support. If you do not speak the main language, you might feel lost or powerless.

Sometimes, service providers do not understand your culture or language. This can make you feel alone or not understood. You need support that respects your beliefs and uses your language. Programmes that challenge harmful ideas about sexual violence and family honour can help you feel safe to ask for help. Services must build trust and give information in many languages. You deserve care that matches your needs and values.

Note: You have the right to support that respects your culture, language, and beliefs.

Complex Needs

You may have extra needs if you live with a disability or mental health condition. Survivors with disabilities face very high rates of sexual violence and child sexual abuse. Many rape crisis centres do not reach people with disabilities well. You might find it hard to get into buildings, use services, or talk to staff who do not understand your needs.

• Services should check if they are ready to help you.

• Staff need training to support people with disabilities or mental health needs.

• Building links with disability groups can make support better.

• Removing barriers and giving information in different formats helps everyone.

You may need longer or more flexible support, especially if you leave care or face many challenges. Trauma-informed and culturally safe care is very important. You should feel strong and have choices in your recovery. If you have faced stigma or bad treatment before, you deserve a fresh start with support that listens and adapts to you.

If you feel left out or unsupported, you can ask for changes or look for services that meet your needs.

Resources for Victims

Helplines and Directories

There are many places that help after sexual violence. Helplines and directories link you to people who understand what you need. These resources give you a safe space to talk and find the right support.

• The National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC) has a Directory of Organisations. You can use it to find support services, Sexual Assault Response Teams, and other help. The directory lists advocacy, crisis help, and legal support.

• The Washington Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs (WCSAP) has a Program Directory for local support in Washington State. You can call their Sexual Assault Support and Information Line at 1-855-210-2087. This line is free, private, and open all day and night.

• Many programmes in these directories offer extra help like support groups, therapy, and medical social work.

• All these helplines and directories keep your information private and make it easy for survivors and families to get help.

Tip: You can use these resources even if you do not want to report. They will listen and help you find the right support.

Online Tools

Online resources give you more ways to get help and information. You can use these tools at home, which makes it easier to reach out.

• Survivors Chat is a friendly online group for people who have faced abuse. You can share your story and get support from others.

• SurvivorSpace is a technology-based platform made with help from survivors. It gives you information about legal rights, self-care, and ways to connect with others.

• Stop It Now! has a private helpline, email, and chat service. This resource helps stop and support those affected by child sexual abuse.

• The National Sexual Assault Hotline and Online Hotline give crisis help and support all day and night by phone and secure instant messaging.

• Yourtoolkit.com has a free Coercive Control Self-Assessment Tool. You can use this tool to spot controlling behaviour and learn about safety steps. Experts and officials support this resource because it helps survivors understand what happened and find guidance.

• Many blogs, forums, and podcasts, like Blooming After Grooming, share survivor stories and expert advice. These resources help you learn, heal, and connect with others.

You can pick the resources that work best for you. These tools give you privacy, learning, and a sense of community. You do not have to face things alone—resources are here to help you every step of the way.

You are important in helping victims and survivors. Learning about sexual violence and child sexual abuse helps you keep people safe. Many victims and survivors feel lonely, but there is help for them. You can give victims and survivors information about where to get help. Survivors need support to get better after child sexual abuse. Victims and survivors can feel hope and become stronger. When you learn and take action, you help stop child sexual abuse.

Remember, victims and survivors of child sexual abuse should always get care and respect.

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FAQ

What should you do if you are not sure whether you experienced sexual violence?

You can talk to someone you trust or call a helpline. Trained staff can help you understand what happened. You do not have to decide alone. You deserve support and answers.

Can you get help even if the abuse happened a long time ago?

Yes, you can seek help at any time. Support services welcome you, no matter when the abuse happened. Healing can start whenever you feel ready. You always have the right to care and support.

Will your information stay private if you ask for help?

Most services keep your information private. Staff will explain when they must share details, such as if you are in danger. You can ask about privacy before you share your story.

How can you support a friend who has survived sexual violence?

Listen without judging.
Believe your friend and respect their choices.
Offer to help them find support.
Remind them they are not alone.
Avoid pushing them to take any action.